Harry in Mars
by Tridentwatch
Summary: Harry has defeated the dark lord and is very bored. So he builds a space ship and journeys to Mars where there is another hidden civilization of magic. Crazy!fic
1. The Book and the Sun

Harry Potter in Mars

Harry has defeated the dark lord and is very bored. So he builds a space ship and journeys to Mars where there is another hidden civilization of magic. Crazy!fic

PROLOGUE

"Avada Kedavra," Harry incanted, waving his golden holly wand at Voldemort's prone form. Voldemort was unconcious and suffering from many wounds. Harry had killed him with ease, well almost. Those years of training where he journeyed around the world and fought of hitmen and dark wizards almost daily were very tough.

But now as the green light hit Voldemort, Voldemort's life faded away. He was finally dead. Around him there were many dead bodies, mostly death eaters and some aurors in red robes. They were at Hogwarts; the sky was crimson red, and the air smelt of sulphur and fire. The Great Forbidden Forest was burnt out, now all that existed was twisted black stalks and dead creatures of many varieties, where once there had been a magnificent habitat of plants and animals.

Voldemort was responsible, now he was dead. There was a lot of work to be done; the wizarding world was broken down and run rattered. Now the even harder work lay ahead: rebuilding Britain back into a glorious civilization where everyone was free and the government was not bigoted and unfair.

It would take a lot of work; someone of Harry's caliber perhaps. Or perhaps not.

Harry was tired of his life, he had worked so hard, now he wanted peace.

"Come on, Harry, let's go back to the base." Ron said to him, grabbing him on the shoulder.

Harry shook his head,"I need to think, Ron. I'll... Its all over now. I don't know what to do anymore. I need to think."

Ron hesitated. Then he said, "Okay mate. I understand." He was a bit uncertain but he left.

Hermoine was pregnant (Ron was the father) and wasn't at the final battle. That was okay. Harry could handle it on his own.

He walked away to the dock on the lake of Hogwarts. The water was green colored, just like his eyes and made slow ripples as he walked on the water.

Walking, walking, walking. He was the walking dude. Harry smiled to himself, an inside joke, only privy to his mind.

Walk, walk, walk, over death, under death, walk walk walk, over pain, under pain, walk walk walk, over happiness, under happiness... just keep on walkin'

Harry hummed this to himself. It was a popular song on the radio he had heard on in the army truck that Ron,Hermoine and himself had stolen so long ago. The song resonated deep within him - it told of his life. How he kept on walking... Over dursleys, under dursleys, over hogwarts, under hogwarts, over death, under death.

And there had been a lot of death; Sirius had died, Snape had redeemed himself in the end and had died, Dumbledore had died, thousands of aurors had died, almost all the members of the order of the phoenix, Minerva McGonnagal (she choked on a lemon drop, believe it or not), Flitwick had died duelling Voldemort himself.He had almost won too, but Peter Petigrew dropped the killing curse at his back. That was a long time ago.

Now Harry was thirty, the big three zero. He had nothing to do except to keep on walking.

He reached London at dawn, and went to the apartment building on 789 Cantin St. On the 21st floor, apartment number 34, was where he kept all his most prized possessions.

And so Harry became a recluse, never heard from in the wizarding world and rarely seen by his friends.

This lasted for about 40 years, until Harry had reached the big seven zero.

That was when he got the crazy idea to build a space ship to reach Mars. . . and that single idea changed mankind forever.

He was at the coffee shop, the dark one that always smelt of sawdust and fried eggs, always filled with people. He could dissapear in a crowd of people and people made him feel comfortable, safe. And not lonely. Here, where he was seated in the corner by the stacks of magazines, he could watch everyone. The young ones who came in here for a bite to eat and a hot cup of joe were usually college students; the old ones like him were the ones who stayed for the afternoon relaxing with a couple buddies.

Then there was Harry Potter, seventy years old, looking not a day older than thirty. He had travelled the world numerous times after his retirement - after killing voldemort - and had seen a lot. Now he was bored. So he watched people come and go.

He looked for something to do, he alwas did when he was drinking coffee, and instead of twidling his thumbs like he usually did he decided to read a magazine. Reading wasn't something he usually did, prefering to live instead of dream, but right now he felt like reading.

He picked up the first magazine on a stack of magazines, and looked at the title: Astronomy Secrets. 'Ok, this will work,' he decided and flipped through it. He came onto an interesting article:

_THERE MAY BE LIFE ON MARS!  
By: Billy Lovegood _

_Yes, researchers at the Harvard Lab in Georgia have found proof that there is life on mars: little pulses, radio waves of sorts have been coming from there on and off. There is no other explanable reason for it other than there may be life on mars. This is an astounding discovery-_

harry put the magazine down, in shock. Life on Mars?

he had been everywhere on Earth, nothing was left for him to do. But Mars...? The possibilities ticked in his head like a bouncy ball. He could go there! He could see for himself! There may be lots of cool things to do on the planet of mars! He had to go!

* * *

review? pleeeeeez? 


	2. Infinite Stars

Chapter Two – Funding

harry potter stared down the Linkin Bridge at the ripples in the iron colored lake below. He was thinking. Today he had found a magazine that had a fascinating idea. An idea Harry was willing to test. A hole he didn't know he had in his heart closed up like a bottle of soda. He had a goal now, an obsession, something to commit his entire mental and phsyical energies to. For thirty years he had been drifting, doing nothing, wasting himself, and now he had something to do finally.

For the first time in months, harry smiled he was finnally happy.

He went home that day in a rush, eager to get started. At once he started searching his dirty home that was filled with ridiculous amounts of junk. He was searching for his Gringotts key. "where did i put it?" He asked to himself in frustration. Then he found the shiny key under his bed, in a black garbage bag that also had his wand and a few wizarding robes.

Harry Potter was going to make a return to the Wizarding World; and boy would they be shocked! Harry smiled again, he seemed to be doing that a lot lately, smiling a thin-lipped smile on a wrinkled old face. At once he put on his wizard robe and hat, put the wand in his belt loop, hanging like a police baton, and his key in hand. "Did I forget how to do this?" He muttered to himself as he pulled his wand out and waved it around, "Apparatus!" He cried out and with a pop he went out of existence from his apartment.

He appeared in front of the leaky cauldron, a lean, mean, obsessed machine. The fire was back in his eyes, the spark of life. He had a goal now, he had something to do. He entered the Leaky Cauldron, a dark and damp pub that held a cross between strange muggles and even stranger wizards, all aware of magic of course. Harry opened the door of the pub and a bell sound was heard. It jingled.

Harry entered like how a cowboy enters in those Westerns he liked so much. The talk instantly died down, his black boots made slow thonk thonk thonk noisses as he walked to the counter where an old man much like him was. His name was Tom and he had been the bartendder for years. The noise that had died down came at a fevor almost at once; a feveor of whispers.

"Is that Harry Potter?"

"No bloody way! THE Harry Potter? The real one?"

"Yeah thats him, I saw him on the Daily Prophet. Heard he lives like a muggle nowadays."

"wish he stayed a muggle,"

"Shut the hell up!"

"Wow, why is he here now? Is there another dark wizard on the loose?"

"Bloody hell... This is amazing! Wait till I tell Martha when I get home!"

Yes, the whispers. They followed him like a pack of hound dogs on the trail. He could never get rid of it and now he wasnt sure he wanted to. He had a plan. He went out the back door of the Leaky Cauldron, on the brick walled alleyway. As expected he reached a dead end - a brick wall that stretch high, at least two stories or so.

Now what was the combination again? Harry licked his dry lips and glanced back, the crowd was following. "You couldn't tell me how to get in, could ya?" He asked.

They watched him in half awed, half afraid, silence. Harry sighed and folded his arms, tapped his foot. "I am waiting."

"Yeah sure, I'll do it," One brave twelve year old said from the crowd. He stepped forward, he had copper hair, like the kind on an american penny, and bright brown eyes thaht held curiousity and much amazement. The boy took out his wand from the back pocket of his tattered old jeans and tapped the combination with nervous, hasty gestures. Finally he blurted out (and harry was waiting for this), "Are you really Harry Potter?"

Harry smiled, even though it pained him to do so, he hated fanboys, and he said, "Yeah I am. Want an autograph?"

He wasn't really expecting the boy to say yes, but whaddaya know?

"Really? Sure! This will be worht millions on ebay, wow!"

Harry blinked. It seemed things had... changed in the wizarding world. The boy reached inito his pocket and pulled out a scrap parchment and a plastic muggle pen. "Here ya go!"

Harry scrawled a quick signature and turned his back to the awed boy. The alley was open, and Diagon Alley looked as beautiful as ever with its bustling haven of witches, wizards, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, and all manner of creatures that would scare the jeebies off a kid going trick o treating on halloween.

Harry walked in the middle of the street. His planned called for him attracting as much attention as possible. He was walking, and the crowd from the Leaky Cauldron followed like puppies with big eyes. Along the way, more and more people were following, until he had a giant sized crowd right behindd him. He looked like he was on the head of the gay parade if the ridiculous robes that they were all wearing was anything to go by.

The rumours started at once, and the whisperes just continued. Everyone was talking to everyone and whispereing behind his back. Harry found it annoying but didn't show it and wore a blank and happy expression on his face instead.

They continued, Harry's footsteps still palpable as ever. Thunk thunk thunk. Harry boosted his aura, his magical power with a bit of concentration and compelled people to subconscoiusly follow him. It was all part of his plan.

Gringotts was at the end of the street, his destination. The rumours and the whispers he could hear:

"Is he headed to Gringotts?"

"He's crazy! He cant take the bank by himself!"

"What? Why will he do that? He is obviously cashing in the check for the bounty huntings the ministry assigned him. Read it on the Quibbler."

Harry smiled at the last one, that was really amusing. He looked ahead and in the distance saw alarmed looking goblins rushing out of the bank wearing suits of armor and axes in their hands. They probably thought the wizards were finally going to kill them all.

Naw. Not that.

He had a much simpler plan, have the wizarding world FUND his new venture. No way he was using his own gold.

In front of the marble steps of the bank, hundreds of grim faced goblins rushed out, fully armed and in rank like Roman Armies. At the head was a fierce looking goblin with two axes on his back riding a huge black wolf that had bloodshot grey eyes and drooled at the mouth. Harry surpressed a shiver, along with the rest of his fans. The goblins looked fucking scary.

Harry smiled amiably at them and stepped forwad, climbed the steps and stood right in front of the guards. Then, he unknowingly commited the greatest insult in Goblin culture. He turned his back on the goblins and faced the crowd.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Witches, Wizards, and creatures of all manner alike, Welcome!"

The crowd roared and cheered, going along with the flow. "Ya!" "Woot! Harry Potter!"

Harry blinked, it seemed the wizarding world became more muggleized than before. He shrugged to himself, thinking this will only make his plan more easier.

"I am indeed Harry Potter, the one and only." He lifted the tuft of grey hair on his head, showing his lightning bolt scar.

The crowd gasped, and behind him the goblins stood in stony silence, but their eyes held hate and anger at a great extent. Turning your back on a goblin was the biggest insult in their books, and this Harry Potter just insulted them, no doubt thinking he was better than them! The outrage!  
"Wow! That's really Harry Potter!"

"I saw his scar! I saw his scar!"

"wish I had a camera!"

Harry smiled at them and continued, "I have made a return to the magical world!" He proclaimed. The crowd cheered heartily. "For that, we musthave a celebration, of course but that can wait."

The crowd stood in stunned silence.

"I will be supplying the food and drinks myself."

The crowd roared happily, "Yeah! Go Harry!"

Several brave teenage girls flashed their tops off, for about a second or two and the crowd went wild.

Inwardly Harry was feeling exhausted, a big drain on his magic to subtly influence the crowd to be rowdy. A magical crowd as it was too! Even harder. But he had above average magical stamina and he could hold it up.

He held up his hands, the crowd obediantly turned silent.

"I have started a new project!" He said.

The crowd tensed, some gasped, some cheered. Most waited in stunned suspense.

"I will be making a journey to Mars!" He said.

The crowd started cheering, but then Harry's magical influence broke off. They stopped abrubtly just staring at Harry in shock.

"Wait did he say Mars?"

"Is he fuckin insane? He is fuckin insane!"

"You Know Who is possessing him! Run for your lives!"

Most stayed still though.

"Please Listen!" Harry roared, the crowd silenced at once. "To do this I will need to build a space ship, huge one at that, fully furnished, and one that wiill be effective. For that I need gold."

He paused, and continued, "To be more specific, Your gold!"

The crowd was in a state of stunned silence.

Then they went balistic.

INTERLUDE: NEWS I

POTTER RETURNS WITH A BANG!  
By: Billy Lovegood, Quibbler News.

Yesterday evening, Harry Potter, defeater of You-know-who and winner of best wizard award four times in a row, winner of Order of the Merlin First Class, winner of many numerous awards and prizes, too many to name, returned to the wizarding world after years of self imposed exile. We all know the story, Harry Potter, an orphan comes to our world and works hard, defeats the evil wizard, and goes away like some kind of angel. Well guess what? He's back!

Yes, Harry Potter is back with a vengeance, and a new idea in his head (that came from yours truly, what a coincidence). He has decided to undertake a journey straight to Mars and investigate the reports of life on mars.

Harry Potter, the hero, willing to take big risks for scientific process. And he wants YOU to fund his ventures. That's right, all YOU. Donate to the Harry Potter's Journey to Mars Fund today at his headquarters, which is right opposite to the Quibbler (another coincidence? I think not!). By Donating you will help bing Harry's big dream to light.

And after all, a bit of gold is the least we can do for our great hero.

-------

GOBLINS DECLARE APARTHEID!  
By: Janice Skeeter

Yesterday evening, Harry Potter came back to the wizarding world, once again bringing disaster for us all. Burning Hogwarts and the surrounding lands, the ministry offices, and Diagon Alley was not enough for this anarchist, who has returned with a great show.

Not only did he rouse up the crowd, causing civil disturbance, but he also insulted the goblins. For the goblins, Harry is a representative of our world, and by causing the gravest of insults to the goblins means disaster for us: The goblins have declared all past ministry deals and contracts null and void, and raised up their fees by 30

Yes, Harry Potter is back with a vengeance, and a new idea in his head. He has decided to finish what he started: ruin the wizarding world completely and utterly. We must stop him before he goes too far, and luckily Minister George Fudge, son of the previous minister before him, is ready to fight what he terms, "The Potter Disaster" head on.

It's time for Harry to leave once and for all. Write to the Wizengamot today, and offer them your opinions. Write to us in the editorials section, write to everyone and anyone, because at the end of the day, all that counts is stopping Harry Potter.

And after all, a bit of letters is the least we can do to stop the greatest evil since You Know Who himself.


	3. The Voyage to Mercury

The fungi moved like a snake, slithering across the vast hills and valleys of Mercury's endlessly flowing lava. I saw this through the telescope at NASA with a laugh building up in my chest. "Surely you are joking me," I said, "This cannot be true. Life on Mercury! The hottest planet in the solar system, and you're telling me, Dr. Xu, that there's life."

"Indeed there is," Dr. Xu was a very old man wearing thick glasses and a pristine white lab coat. Briefly I wondered what he needed a lab coat for, since he was a theoretical physicist and worked with pencil, paper, and powerful nuclear telescopes. "I just discovered it last week and I want the media to know. I want it to be publicized throughout the world. There's a forest on Mercury! There might even be intelligent life."

"But-" I was at a loss for words. "I don't see how this is possible at all, and I have a good scientific background."

"You're merely a journalist," Dr. Xu said, "But there is nothing to fear, you can see for yourself with your own eyes. The nuclear telescope has been properly calibrated. I had it verified with all my colleuges. In fact, NASA has already revealed the secret to the Government and they've given us the go ahead to publicize this fact."

The government, of course will do anything to get public attention away from themselves and their endless list of failures.

"I'll do my best to churn out an article," I said with a sigh, and then peered through the telescope again at the forest on Mercury. The plants looked very different, very snakelike with tall and long vines intertwined with large patches of growth. The colours! They were so widely different, a rainbow of colours displayed in the leaves and branches of metallic forestry. I felt awed at the sight of a tall tree like thing with shards of metallic wings that seemed to stretch forth from its backbone. I looked closer. "The tree! It's flying!" I said in excitement.

"What? A mobile living thing?" Xu pushed me away and had a look himself. He murmured, "Ah I see, fascinating, fascinating."

I stayed for the next hour interviewing Xu.

Q: So how long have you been researching the possibiltity of extraterrestrial life?

A: For a long time now, I think. I started with the outer stars but quickly I lost interest. There was no point. We cannot reach it at our current level. No. If God intended company for Earthlings, then it would be within our solar system. So I started with Pluto and worked my way inward. At each planet, save for Earth itself, I found no signs of life through the nuclear telescope.

Q: How many gegabytes of data have you collected?

A: Well into the millions.

Q: When did you find life on Mercury? And How?

A: Quite by accident actually. Last week, at night I was drunk and high and I decided to look at Mercury through the telescope fully sure it would amount to a failure. I scanned the mass of Mercury, the content of the material and found something called Ardanite which is a type of radiation given off only by intelligent life. The thought processes generate Ardanite waves and the nuclear telescope I have is specially designed to pick up on that.

Q: I've heard of Ardanite. Amazing!

A: Indeed.

That evening I wrote the article. Instant sell out. Newspapers gone in a flash, money in my pocket.

Three weeks later I was at home sitting on the couch. I felt the urge to have a cigar so I did. I also felt the need to drink a cup of wine, and follow it by gobbling up half a gram of painkillers. It was a high dose. I felt really baked and stoned, as if I'd smoked a potent joint of marijuana. I paced. I had lots of money and I had quit my job because it bored me. But I didn't know what to do with my life. I decided to go and meditate in the jungles and that thought brought me to what made me rich in the first place: the article about life on Mercury and the forest and I decided I wanted to travel there and see it for myself, and I knew we had the technology to accomplish that so I wrote a letter to Dr. Xu on my laptop.

Then I sent it and fell asleep soon after.

I forgot all about it.

A month later, I got a reply. In brief, Dr. Xu said there was space open for a scientific recorder, a person who would observe and bring data, for the first explorative voyage. I would be in space for well over a year in total. Was I willing?

I said I was and that was that.

I found myself in a space ship. The gleaming metal hull felt safe and sound. The roar of the engine - lift off!

After pulling out of Earth's gravitational field I said to my fellow travellers, "Jolly good."


End file.
